Reality has begun to set in! The weeks are flying by like crazy and I just now slowed down to really think about the fact that in 8 weeks our little man will be here and Kinsey will no longer be an only child!!! Two emotions run through my head constantly these days: Anticipation and Fear! I am so excited to meet the newest addition to our family and see if he has more of my good looks or my husbands. My fear is that I will not know how to make time for a new baby and my baby that depends on me sooo much! I fear that her feelings will be hurt and the last thing I would ever want is for her to feel neglected by me. We spend all of our time together and in just a short while, a new baby will change her little world forever. I know the change will be abrupt at first and then gradually she will understand, but I hate to think that I might hurt her little heart!!!!
It is unreal sometimes when I think about where my life has taken me in the last ten years. I am using ten years as a reference, due to the fact that I just attended my ten year high school reunion over the weekend. I had a great time catching up and cherishing memories with high school friends. It was wonderful to get to see the faces that made me smile and even made me angry all those years ago. It is interesting that even after ten years, we all still look and act the same. Of course there are exceptions to this statement... we have all grown up and many of us have families, but for the most part I could still the high school aura wrapped around us as we hung out together. I can still remember thinking that I would be married by 24 and have three kids by the age of 28. My how things went in a different direction, but for a good reason. In the last ten years, I have had my heart broken and possibly broke one or two hearts. I have seen friends come and go and I have often thought about the friends that I lost contact with after high school. I have struggled to pay bills and then had enough money to lend a friend. I have changed my mind about a profession numerous times and yet ended up with two degrees in Education. Through all of this, I managed to somehow marry the most amazing man. He has brought me through some of the toughest battles in my life and yet he still ceases to judge me. He makes no harsh comments about my moodiness or my insane ability to stress myself out on the most minute issues. He loved me for me from the very beginning and through all of my struggles in being a mother, a wife and a new member in a family he has always known the real me. In fact, even today as I continue to let go of guilts and grievances I have held on to for so long and find a way back to me, he is the one that helps me realize who I am and what I am not!
Being at my high school reunion, made me aware of the vast differences each of our lives contain. Some of us live in big cities, some of us in small country towns and some of us never left. There have been divorces, heart ache, joy, babies and new found love in our class as a whole. We have left our mark on our school ten years ago, but tonight as I sit here and reflect on everything I learned Saturday night, I now realize that we have gone out into the world and made a mark on people around us. We genuinely are a class that cared about each other and to this day we still do. It may be a silent nod or a simple smile that we use to communicate our respect and compassion for one another, but have doubt it's there!!!
I am not sure why I have all of sudden found the need to be so long winded and emotional but for some reason it felt good to reconnect with so many friends that I have lost contact with. It made me so happy to see others in love with their life and with the one that they chose to spend it with. It is heart warming to know that we all found our place in the world and even if we aren't sure we are in the right place, we are strong enough to fight until we figure out!!
Until my next social gathering with my newly reconnected friends, I will be in my house nesting for the arrival of Mr. Grady. Think of my often and say a little prayer to help me figure it all out. Every little thought counts and I am sure my Kinsey will appreciate all of the help I can get. I apologize for any accidental omitted words or misspellings, but I am way to tired to go back and proofread, please know that I will try harder next time....Peace, Love and the Reese's!!!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Busy Bee or Lazy, HOT, Pregnant Mama?
So, it seems like I can't decide if I have been a busy bee or a tired, no energy lasting, HOT as a forest fire pregnant mother! By the end of the day, well really by 4 p.m., I am DRAINED!!!! You would think that I have been super busy getting our new house decorated, but it seems to be coming together slowly. I am not quite sure if it feels like this because I have more rooms to decorate or just because I am plum tired. But either way, I have been spending most of my time doing house stuff!!!
Justin has been in Austin the past 2 weeks doing duty at the Capitol and let me tell you I never realized just how much I depend on him during the day and night. It has been hard to get in a routine without him here and the first couple of nights were rough. Especially getting up by myself all night long to put Kinsey back to sleep! He is usually the one who gets up with her and brings her to me and I have really missed his help. He is such a great dad and sometimes he doesn't give himself enough credit, but without him letting me take a breather every now and then I couldn't be the mom that I need to be! I will be so glad when he gets home tomorrow night, but the excitement will be short lived as he leaves again on Wednesday for a much needed hunting trip in Canada for five days. Things will be chaotic again without him but I know how much he loves his duck hunting and well, he is really good at it!
Once he gets back, we have my high school reunion to attend and I can't wait! It will be great to see some of my friends from high school and hopefully find new ways to keep in touch! I just wish I wasn't the size of a beluga whale when I see everyone, but growing a small person inside of my tummy can do that to me! Now the challenge is to find shoes to wear with my dress that I still need to get hemmed! Man, the more I type about what is going on in my life, the more I realize that I am really fixing to be a busy mommy bee! And to think I only have roughly 70 days left before this little baby makes his entrance into this world! Wowzers....panic shall set in NOW!!! But I think I will take a new baby over being preggo in this heat anyday!!!!
On a final note, Kinsey has been doing the funniest things lately. She answers every question in her sweet, tiny voice with a simple, "No!" I can ask, "Kinsey, do you want a little brother?" And She will say, "NO!" I can ask her "Kinsey, do you want to eat fruit loops or cheerios?" And She will say, "No!" Poor thing, she is a little confused with the meaning of the word, but it's still cute to me...right now! She has also started to help me feed the dogs every morning and night. The amazing thing to me is that she knows which bowl belongs to which dog! She gets her smarts from me!!! She is growing so fast and talking soooo much. We just love her to pieces and our love grows deeper each day we spend with her! I love being a MOM and even in the dog days of summer, preggo and well beyond my comfort level for weight, I have found that a sweet, innocent smile can take away all the worry and doubts in my mind. What a blessing children are to their parents.... I am pretty sure I need her more than she needs me:) I hope you all have a great weekend and a nice, long Labor day weekend with the one's you love! Until next time, the busy bee is buzzing off....PEACE, LOVE and the REESE'S!!!
Some of the decorating we have done in the living room...still more to do, but it's a start.
A little touch of baby kinsey in the Master Bedroom! love those black and white pics!!!!
My new rug from Pier One... doesn't have any purpose right now other than to lay on the floor!! It's in the breakfast room....but I do not have any furniture to put on it yet, so for now it's kinsey's play mat!!!
Justin has been in Austin the past 2 weeks doing duty at the Capitol and let me tell you I never realized just how much I depend on him during the day and night. It has been hard to get in a routine without him here and the first couple of nights were rough. Especially getting up by myself all night long to put Kinsey back to sleep! He is usually the one who gets up with her and brings her to me and I have really missed his help. He is such a great dad and sometimes he doesn't give himself enough credit, but without him letting me take a breather every now and then I couldn't be the mom that I need to be! I will be so glad when he gets home tomorrow night, but the excitement will be short lived as he leaves again on Wednesday for a much needed hunting trip in Canada for five days. Things will be chaotic again without him but I know how much he loves his duck hunting and well, he is really good at it!
Once he gets back, we have my high school reunion to attend and I can't wait! It will be great to see some of my friends from high school and hopefully find new ways to keep in touch! I just wish I wasn't the size of a beluga whale when I see everyone, but growing a small person inside of my tummy can do that to me! Now the challenge is to find shoes to wear with my dress that I still need to get hemmed! Man, the more I type about what is going on in my life, the more I realize that I am really fixing to be a busy mommy bee! And to think I only have roughly 70 days left before this little baby makes his entrance into this world! Wowzers....panic shall set in NOW!!! But I think I will take a new baby over being preggo in this heat anyday!!!!
On a final note, Kinsey has been doing the funniest things lately. She answers every question in her sweet, tiny voice with a simple, "No!" I can ask, "Kinsey, do you want a little brother?" And She will say, "NO!" I can ask her "Kinsey, do you want to eat fruit loops or cheerios?" And She will say, "No!" Poor thing, she is a little confused with the meaning of the word, but it's still cute to me...right now! She has also started to help me feed the dogs every morning and night. The amazing thing to me is that she knows which bowl belongs to which dog! She gets her smarts from me!!! She is growing so fast and talking soooo much. We just love her to pieces and our love grows deeper each day we spend with her! I love being a MOM and even in the dog days of summer, preggo and well beyond my comfort level for weight, I have found that a sweet, innocent smile can take away all the worry and doubts in my mind. What a blessing children are to their parents.... I am pretty sure I need her more than she needs me:) I hope you all have a great weekend and a nice, long Labor day weekend with the one's you love! Until next time, the busy bee is buzzing off....PEACE, LOVE and the REESE'S!!!
Some of the decorating we have done in the living room...still more to do, but it's a start.
A little touch of baby kinsey in the Master Bedroom! love those black and white pics!!!!
My new rug from Pier One... doesn't have any purpose right now other than to lay on the floor!! It's in the breakfast room....but I do not have any furniture to put on it yet, so for now it's kinsey's play mat!!!
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