Where does the time go?

This past weekend we had Kinsey's first birthday! It was wonderful.... I stressed about it for three months wanting every detail to be perfect because I knew this would only happen once in her life. At the end of the day, we were all exhausted from all the fun and unfortunately the hot and humid weather. But I can say that on top of all of this, I was emotionally exhausted and I still am today. What a difference a year makes!!! I am sure I am not the only mom who cries at the thought of her baby being a year old and if I am then that's okay because I have always been an emotional person:) I can't help but think about the first moment I laid eyes on her...the immense feeling of a deeper love was something I was not expecting. I honestly believe that our babies are miracles and gifts from God. They are each sent here to give us a deeper purpose and to help us become better people. My lil' lady has for sure changed my world in more ways than I could ever explain or even begin to understand. What I do know is that when I look in her eyes , I can see the confidence she has in me. I can see the trust she gives me and the love that none other can ever understand. She makes me crazy some days with her clingyness (possibly a word) and diva ways, but on nights like this when I watch her sleep in her crib I am reminded of the little 7 pound miracle that changed my world just a short year ago. I know she is not the perfect child, but she is beyond perfect for me and her tiny hands fit just right inside mine. My whole point behind this blog is cherishing every moment. Remember every tear you cried from being exhausted the first months you were a new mom. Remember every late night rocking that you somehow managed to accomplish despite the incredible sleep deprivation you were feeling. Remember every little smile and every giggle. Remember the first bath, the first professional picture session, the first tooth and the first gooey, slobbery baby kiss. It goes by so fast and I know that it will only go faster as she begins to walk and talk and rule the house:) Do not get me wrong... I am glad that my baby is strong and healthy and growing up well. I am not sad for her, I am just overwhelmed with the loss of my little newborn. Deep down I know I have not lost my baby.... I have gained a beautiful blossoming flower. It is just the thought of a whole year behind us that makes me start to second guess if I took the time to get every memory that I could while she was this young. Did I miss anything or neglect to see what would be important now? I know I am reading too much into this, but I can't help but wonder "Will I always miss the little baby that I rocked in my arms?" I have been told that it will get easier as the days go on and new babies come into our family, but for now I have my baby, the one that changed me forever. I am glad she had such a great time at her party. It may seem like a small success but it has been one of my proudest parent moments yet.

Kinsey Blayne, I am so happy you are mine and I love you to the moon and back! Love you, Mommy